Fighting Crime With Really Big 80s Hair

Ok, this is HUGE news.

According to the news feed I get from Yahoo…

“KITT, the flame-throwing, river-jumping, talking muscle car from the `80s TV show ‘Knight Rider,’ is up for sale. Restored to its debut-season glory, the modified black 1982 Pontiac Trans Am is offered at $149,995 at a Dublin auto dealership.”

Let’s start a collection. Who’s with me?

“It is one of four documented “camera cars” used for close-up shots and scenes where David Hasselhoff, who played Michael Knight in the series, was behind the wheel.”

David Hasselhoff! Behind the wheel! But does that increase the value or lower it?

“Although it cannot achieve the 300 mph speeds that KITT reached, soar 50 feet in the air or throw smoke bombs, key features of the star car are intact. Perhaps most important, the red scanner light on the nose glows and makes a humming noise.”

OOOH. A humming noise.

The red nose glows? Is this the Rudolph of television cars? Did all the other cars laugh and call him names? You know it’s pretty bad when you get dissed by the Munster Mobile.

“The car has two working video screens on the dashboard, and the cockpit features buttons that light up in green, yellow and red: ski mode, rocket boost, micro jam, silent mode, oil slick and eject.”

Ski mode, rocket boost and eject I understand. This is important when you’re catching ’80s criminals on the slopes or in space. (Just make sure you dress in layers under your “Member’s Only” jacket.) But what the hell is micro jam? Something you put on tiny little pieces of toast?

“’Most of the buttons don’t do anything,’ Verhoek said. ‘Nor can the car hold a conversation or drive itself.’”

I think it’s funny they felt the need to be specific on the last two points.

“’KITT isn’t even street legal because of missing smog equipment and other modifications. Whoever buys the car will probably keep it in a private collection, or it may be purchased by a museum,’ Verhoek said.”

As long as it goes to a museum that also houses Alf, anything from “Manimal” and Joan Collins’ wigs. Or just Joan herself. I would go there.

Wait – it isn’t street legal because of MISSING smog equipment? Like if you stuck a new smog machine on there it could be cruising on I-55?

“The car belongs to Tim Russo of Livermore, a Kassabian customer who figured now was a good time to test the market, with the 25th anniversary of the show’s debut coming up. Russo purchased the car 10 years ago at an auction in San Diego, and has spent the last decade finding parts to restore it.”

I bet ejector seats and car skis were very hard to come by. I don’t think they have them at Wal-Mart. And he’ll probably spend the next decade trying to find someone to buy it.

“The winning bid at auction will also come with a private concert by the Hoff himself.”

It will cost you another 15k to make him go away.

I hope KITT finds a home. And no one is subjected to a Hasselfest. I’d love to bid on it, but I’m saving up for when Wonder Woman’s invisible plane goes on the market.

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