I’ve written…a song? A poem? An ode? I don’t know. We can call it a sonnet so I can feel all fancy but I fear the purists would object.
If anyone wants to set it to music, feel free. It’s not something I can manage on a thirty-five year old clarinet.
Ahem…
Cat food, cheese and chardonnay
There in my cart co-mingle
People look me up and down
And say, “You must be single.”
Crazy cat, cat lady
They think it’s so sad to see
But based on what I see in them
I weep for humanity
I go to any party
And within ten minutes flat
You’ll find me in the kitchen
Talking to their cat
Crazy cat, cat lady
Too bad I’m not a wife?
Don’t feel bad for me, I’ve got my friends
And an active inner life
I don’t think cats are weird
Birds I think are worse
And at least I won’t scrounge for birdseed
At the bottom of my purse
I can have nice things
Sleep in ‘til noon
I have my independence
I take my own honeymoon
Crazy cat, cat lady
They think it’s so sad to see
But based on what I see in them
I weep for humanity
You may think I’m crazy
But this much I know is true
You can kiss my ass, I like my cat
Much more than I like you.